Ex-Smoker/Non-Smoker
Over at MaggiesMind she is discussing the process of going from being a smoker to a non-smoker. She touches on a salient point, namely:
I’m not sure that I’ll ever feel quite the same as someone who was never a smoker.
I think this is true. As many people know, and I hate to admit, I once quit smoking for 4 years. There were long periods of time where it was easy to stay away from cigarettes, and days when I thought I would never smoke again. Until the day where I did smoke again. In the head of a cigarette addict (and I will hazard it works this way for most addictions), even for someone that hasn’t smoked in a long time, there is a constant somewhat subconscious hunger for cigarettes. It makes it impossible for non-smokers (someone who has never smoked) to fully appreciate what being an ex-smoker means (pay no attention to the fact that what I just said isn’t falsifiable). It also means there will never be a day when I can rest easy knowing that I will never smoke again. I must be constantly vigilant that I never allow temptation to grow to a point where I can’t resist it.
I prefer to call myself a Non-Smoker, but let’s face it: addiction causes head trash, I am an Ex-Smoker.
108 days for me still thinking I want to smoke (crazy), some depression my quit buddy smoked a few days ago, I think I am setting my self up to fail!!!!
Nathan, exactly what you said - I call myself a non-smoker, but ex-smoker really is a more apt description, likely even long, long after I’ve quit.
I’m not sure that those terms help in terms of solidifying your new Identity. While reality has a good deal of path-dependence (you smoked regularly, so now you are an ex-smoker), when it comes to deceiving your brain, I think we should delude completely.
After the physical addiction goes, the psychological obviously remains (for a lifetime?). In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, we could just erase all the memories of smoking and be done with it. Reminding yourself that you smoked seems like a bad thing to me, it seems like it feeds the identity and prepares oneself for a relapse. I prefer to just forget about it.
I just like the part where you realize the point you are making about non-smokers is totally unfalsifiable. I personally believe that I could TOTALLY fully appreciate what being an ex-smoker means.
Ok… I just felt like pointing out what you already pointed out. Oh well, I’m lazy and had to feed off your thoughts there.
To actually comment on your post…. I have often wondered how I never became a smoker. And yes, I’m entirely convinced I have no idea what it is like to be an ex-smoker. Listening to you talk about the addiction, I’m relieved I was so lucky.
I agree completely, I too am an EX-SMOKER, no other terms for it.
Today is 33 days without a cigarette for me but I want a cigarette at least once a day and sometimes dozens of times a day but I intentionally have to think about not having one. The urges or tuggings as Maggie calls them, don’t last as long but they still come nonetheless.
I believe there will always be times when I’m tempted but hopefully I will also be aware that I’m stronger than the temptation.
Good Luck to everyone kicking this addiction to the curb. Whatever you do, don’t have that cigarette, stay QUIT.
Bill, stay quit man, it’s worth it. I am hanging in there, one day at a time. It WILL get easier.
Patrick, I agree man, I really do. I just can’t help but think about it :)
Yeah, I’m pretty absent-minded when it comes to some things. I just shoved smoking into the things I’d be absent-minded about. Forget to eat, forget to smoke, forget to whatever… it was all the same.