Wow, so…I haven’t posted too much about smoking lately. I have been really juiced about running, and training that I kind of feel like I am spamming readers here with my mundane drivel. However, I do want to chronicle my cessation, so, here is some more spam.
The last week has been about the same everyday in terms of urges. They come, they go. They don’t last long anymore. Usually with in 30 to 60 seconds they are gone, and it’s not that hard to wait them out. It’s unpleasant but not impossible. It has been kind of drag that they don’t seem to be any less frequent or severe today, than they were this time last week. I had made such a good recovery of the first few days I kind of expected that it would just get easier and easier. I feel like I have plateaued. And that’s ok, I am complaining, however I remember it still being a constant struggle at this point in quits past. I complain, it’s a hobby.
I am really loving that my running seems to be taking off. That alone gives me plenty to hold onto when the urge strikes.
On the way home from running tonight I was thinking about my cessation, and what it means for the rest of my life. I know that I will have urges, likely for a long time to come (not cravings, that seems to be over). There will be times throughout the rest of my life when the idea will pop into my head “Man I would love a cigarette right now”. And each and every time I will have to meet them head on and know that that is not a good idea. It’s hard to explain to people who have never been addicted to anything what that is like, but let me tell you, it kind of depresses me.
I don’t blame anyone but myself for getting addicted to cigarettes, but it’s a little depressing that the actions of a stupid kid affect the life of a 35 year old man. However this is my life, and I want the rest of it to be smoke free, even if that means I may feel something unpleasant from time to time.
Inspirational slogan of the day: “I’d rather be a non-smoker with the occasional urge to smoke, than a smoker with the constant desire to quit”.
Happy breathing.
Awesome and congrats on two weeks smoke free! I love the slogan, so true!
Actually, those little thoughts will help you identify what part of your brain you should ignore. Try to associate something with them, like scratching your arm in a certain place (don’t use your dominant sense), so that you’ll get a Pavlovian itching in your arm when that part of your brain speaks up.
Anyway, that’s the game I played. Pretty much anything that makes a game out of those urges. It’s not cool to think of the rest of your life as Jesus heading out into Satun’s wilderness with no prospect of return.
I have been experiencing a lot of the same thoughts with regards to my smoking and you are right it is pretty damn depressing that a choice I made before I was old enough to make any kind of lifelong decision is effecting me this way now. But so is life I guess… I certainly won’t be going back to smoking.
Thank you for the inspirational slogan it is GREAT :)
“I’d rather be a non-smoker with the occasional urge to smoke, than a smoker with the constant desire to quit”
Awesome. You’ve already accomplished what many have wanted to do just in getting this far. Sounds like you’re staying strong. Great work nate!